Giving Thanks....

So I've started reading Ann Voskamp's book "A Thousand Gifts" and I love her website ...A Holy Experience. I've only read a couple chapters in her book and beyond the beautiful prose and her masterful use of language is this question today:

How...?! 

How does one give thanks sometimes? When prayers go unanswered and seemingly unheard; loneliness and a sense of failure are constant companions or the heart yearns for community and finds none? When life just isn't what one had hoped or thought? Or when those we love are selfish, unforgiving or cold and do not even seem to see us or our needs, the blood spilling from broken hearts?  How long does one continue to hope when all hope seems an exercise in futility? When nothing seems to have a point or make a difference, and you wonder sometimes if anyone would even notice if you weren't there, or would they just say a few words and move on? If you feel like you are walking through wet sand that just keeps slipping back into the places you've already been, doing laps around the desert like the Israelites of old who could see the Promised Land but just couldn't seem to get there? When you've articulated needs to others and the only answer is "I'll pray for you", or the implication that if you just try  harder, pray harder,eat better, exercise more,  or had more time daily with Lord,etc,etc.....it would get better (thereby unwittingly adding to the burden of things not done)  & things that are broken within or without continue to go unmet, unseen, unheard, unsalved?

When DID we stop saying thank you in our culture or in our own lives? and HOW do we begin again? In the midst of calamity as big as the tsunami in Japan or as "small" as a wounded lonely heart?  As Christian's sometimes we feel we shouldn't even have to ask and others who bear the name of Christ are often more hurtful then helpful or can't bear to look upon your honesty and so they don't. Doesn't Paul say "in everything give thanks?" Yes, Yes he does but walking that out is not so easily done, and to simplify anothers or even your own suffering  down to trite answers is to trivialize the sufferings of our own Lord and Savior........

I appreciate this books beautifully written words and well chosen imagery already but more than that her honesty to lay bare her heart and ask the hard questions....... where is the grace in daily living? In a world where there seems to be none some days?

Twitterpated....

So spring has officially sprung in Abilene! yea!! (ok we may still get snow before the end of May but hey ....). Signs of spring in a small town in America:

1. Beautiful balmy weather with barely any wind (another yea for KS!) brings out everyone to do yard work, bike ride, go for a walk/jog
2. Robins galore
3. The smell of charcoal or grilling out! 
4. Motorcycles all around town 
5. Front Porches being used again 
6. Open windows even after dusk
7. Peepers singing! (baby frogs for those who dont' know)
8. The crack of a bat hitting a ball
9. Kids running across the street and laughing
10. Trees and bushes are budding out 

These were all seen/experienced by yours truly today which brought to mind the line from Bambi about being twitterpated and my title,  and my daffodils are blooming!

Getting Healthy ....

This is my "resolution" for the new year if you will...
  To get healthy in all the area's of my life! Webster's 1828 dictionary defines Health as:

HEALTH, n. helth. [from heal.] That state of an animal or living body, in which the parts are sound, well organized and disposed, and in which they all perform freely their natural functions. In this state the animal feels no pain. This word is applied also to plants.
1. Sound state of the mind; natural vigor of faculties.
2. Sound state of the mind, in a moral sense; purity; goodness.
3. Salvation or divine favor, or grace which cheers God's people. Ps.43,
4. Wish of health and happiness
5. (Healthy) Wholesomeness; salubrity; state or qualities that promote health; as the healthfulness of the air, or of climate, or of diet, or of exercises.
 
So what exactly do I mean all areas of my life ? Well  here goes:
  Physically -- eating better and losing weight hopefully of course but more along the lines of feeling better, having more energy, exercising on a regular basis, having a daily routine/schedule and sticking to it for the most part (something I've struggled with for years), getting the dreaded follow up MRI out of the way (for those of you who don't know I have a Chiari malformation but am asymptomatic), and the endoscopy (esophogeal stricture so if we're ever out to lunch and I leave the table fairly suddenly it's fine just need to stand up or visit the ladies room), getting my hormones back in whack and getting on with the essential oils
 
Spiritually/Mentally/Emotionally - I was going to seperate all 3 of these but they're so entertwined I decided not to! Getting my prayer journal in order and using it! Praying more often, memorizing more scripture, praise music, playing my flute and piano more often, laughing more and looking at the glass 1/2 empty less, taking every thought captive, setting better boundaries (reading the book, as well as another Bible study and here) - which I'm sure will thrill some of the people in my life but it's time, adjusting to having only boys at home and two "extras" in our life! Being in a place where I feel healthy and less fragile some days, where life is good even when it's not, to let go of some things and appropriate others. Continue to pray for good friends here -- does lonesome fit here or under socially? hmmm...  To begin to do those things again that bring me joy or a sense of contentment.
 
Marriage Wise (is Maritally a word? I think it is but anyhow..) - appreciating my husband more and loving him, working on communication and all that! (and let's face it some hanky panky when he's home!); Watching Mark Gungor's tapes we were blessed with, attending more marriage seminars together, etc As a military wife sometimes there is a certain "distance" we have from our spouses (no not just physically) and to close that gap.
 
Financially - Continue working on getting out of debt, redo our budget and stick to it a little better (always room for improvement!), be able to give generously and also just have fun without having to worry about what it costs. Tithe.
 
I think that's it for now, sorry if they are vague. Just really feel like God is calling me to come up higher this year health wise, to be, if not healthy at least healthier!
 
What about you?

A New Thing.....

Happy New Year everyone! 

Ok so I'm a little late... the following passage of scripture is something the Lord gave me years ago and when I say years I do mean years, as in 1988 at a Baptist Student Union Conference at Golden Gate Seminary in San Fransisco... I had no idea then the fires and waters I would walk through but it has been precious to me ever since! God repeatedly says do not fear, something I admittedly have struggled with. This portion was brought back to mind in a signifigant way two years ago (portion in green in particular) and this year at PWOCI (Protestant Women of the Chapel) conference in Dallas God once again brought it back to mind but especially verses 18-19 (highlighted below in blue). I am excited to see what God is doing this year -- in my health, with my husband/our marriage, with the kiddos,EVERYTHING! Excited but a little scared at the same time, it's been a heck of year! National Horse Competitions, new signifigant others in children's lives (more on that later when I have permission), Deployment (AGAIN), Girls in College, etc.....etc.... While I am still figuring out how to be a mom to adult children, and one soon to be, how to homschool only one, still struggling with consistency, lonliness and a quieter house, I am finding a renewed hope and sense of God's presence as well and a renewed sense of following where he leads even when it's scary,or not well lit!
   Now this is what the LORD says the One who created you, Jacob,
and the One who formed you, O Israel
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
 I will be with you
when you pass through the waters,
and [when you pass] through the rivers,they will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you.
 For I the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior,
give Egypt as a ransom for you,Cush and Seba in your place.
  Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and I love you,
I will give human beings in your place,and peoples in place of your life.
 Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your descendants from the east, and gather you from the west.
 I will say to the north: Give [them] up!and to the south: Do not hold [them] back!
Bring My sons from far away, and My daughters from the ends of the earth
  everyone called by My name and created for My glory.
I have formed him; indeed, I have made him."
 Bring out a people who are blind, yet have eyes, and are deaf, yet have ears.
All the nations are gathered together,and the peoples are assembled.
Who among them can declare this, and tell us the former things?
Let them present their witnesses to vindicate [themselves],  so that people may hear and say, "It is true."
"You are My witnesses" the LORD's declaration
"and My servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe Me
and understand that I am He.
No god was formed before Me, and there will be none after Me.
   I, I am the LORD,and there is no other Savior but Me.
   I alone declared, saved, and proclaimed—and not some foreign god  among you.
So you are My witnesses"—the LORD's declaration-"and  I am God.
  Also, from today on I am He [alone],and no one can take [anything] from My hand.
I act, and who can reverse it?"
 This is what the LORD, your Redeemer,  the Holy One of Israel says:
Because of you, I will send to Babylon and bring all of them as fugitives,
even the Chaldeans  in the ships in which they rejoice.
 I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.
This is what the LORD says—
who makes a way in the sea, and a path through surging waters,
 who brings out the chariot and horse, the army and the mighty one together
(they lie down, they do not rise again;they are extinguished, quenched like a wick)
 "Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old.
 Look, I am about to do something new;
even now it is coming. Do you not see it?
  Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. 
The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
 the people I formed for myself  that they may proclaim my praise
                                                                                     ... Isa 43:1-20

Deployment Goals...

So for this deployment here are my goals:

1. Blog at least twice a week
2. Exercise 3 times a week
3. Daily Prayer and Bible Study
4. Set a resonable schedule and get in a good routine
5. Get my Prayer Journal organized and use it see (see # 3 above)
6. Scrapbook (hopefully finish one or two -- big goal would be to catch up but don't hold your breath!)
7. Lose at least 50 lbs (preferably more)/Eat Better (see #2)
8. Save at least $1500-$2000
9. Pay off as much debt as possible
10. Spend tax return wisely (new Mattress from Marriot here I come! Ours is 18years old and there's dip in the middle from Tim being gone so much!)
11. Make a book and Dvd list and work through it

Let me know what you think!