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October 6, 2008

Back...

  • to long days & even longer nights,
  • an ever present niggling sense of worry,
  • praying without ceasing,
  • breathless phone calls with a lag time and static hello... yes...I love you....hello? (from running to grab the phone on the chance it might be him and trying to fit everything in before the phone cuts off!)
  • wondering (what's he doing now, what's the weather like there, how do my children really feel about this, etc.....),
  • double checking the locks at night (I need to buy a gun),
  • hoping people will invite us over for meals/or bring me one so I don't have to figure out what to cook every night for 4 children who really don't care if they have mac n cheese/pizza/fishsticks/hotdogs/mozzerella sticks every night (well at least some of them at least the girls are past that stage!),
  • wishing this war was through and yet being proud we have a part in something bigger than us and of hubby who is doing what's right,
  • feeling frustrated with everyone who just doesn't get it
  • a sharpened sense of what's really important
  • holidays with an empty seat
  • feeling like I can't take a deep breath,
  • to so many things that are tough to articulate and make sense,
  • and yet trusting that God has a bigger purpose for all of this...

    to being part of a sisterhood of women who wait.....

1 comment:

Nicolle Fletcher said...

Holly this was a beautiful post! As I read it...I remembered! I remembered what it was like to feel and think everything you expressed. I will be praying for you. Praying that a sister or brother close to you would be willing to hold you and the kids up. To hold your hand and walk with you through this very emotional roller coaster ride. Take confidence in knowing...the roller coaster car may drive straight upward and other days it may be a drop straight down...it will always be supported by our GREAT GOD AND KING JESUS! Be encouraged dear sister and trust in the Lord. He is the lifter of all your heads!

Love Ya

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Thoughts

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." .... Jeremiah 29:11 (esv)