Pages

October 6, 2011

Enough ..... (day 6)

Do you ever feel like who you are or what you do is just not ever enough ?

Enough time ..... enough love .... enough effort ..... you fill in the blank _______________________

I often feel as though I'm not enough  ..... somehow that I just don't measure up. To my idea of a good mom, wife, friend or child of God. Some of that is certainly related to childhood .... always the last one picked for games,etc .....one of the smart girls, band geek, .... homeschool Mom, Army Wife .... never the one to go with the flow or the status quo...... always questioning and I might add questioning myself! .....

I always feel behind ... like I'm running to catch a train that I just . can't. quite. reach ...... expectations left undone .... that pile of books I've yet to read, not enough time in prayer for hubby, home school work not done ..... wanting to be a "good" Mom to my kiddos both at home and adults, to be a good mother- in-law and grandma ,a good teacher who rightly divides the word for others, ....  feeling like a failure when I don't respond to my family members well ..... that somehow I should be doing it better- more efficiently--more cheerfully - with a holier attitude ......how can I encourage other women when I feel so discouraged about certain things in my life ......  and, and, and ... my list could certainly go on!

Yet Jesus says ... stop daughter! You are enough in Me! Without me you can do nothing anyhow so why do you keep striving? You don't need to prove your worth to me .... I died on the cross for you because I love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, the way I created you. You are ENOUGH in me. It is enough to sit and lift your face to the sun, to spread a picnic blanket and read a good book, perfection is not the goal, but you are perfection to me!   ....

yet still I strive, to make sure somehow that it's done, to quiet the voices from childhood or perceptions of my own making or from the father of lies who whispers ...... you didn't get that done, you will never be enough, you are a failure ......

when if I would only accept the Grace and graces given to me and truly get it deep down I would see that it is enough -- even with laundry to do, meals to make, briefings to attend, dog hair all over the stairs, dishes in the sink --- to love my children, and my husband, to love God and follow hard after Him .....

that it is Grace, the wonderful, terrible beautiful grace of the Cross which makes my humble offerings of time and tasks, the prayers I feel are feeble and ineffectual, and all of me  ....... ....Enough




"And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." ... 2 Cor 9:8

1 comment:

Holley Gerth said...

Yes, yes, we are all still learning to live this truth together, aren't we? Thanks for this glimpse into your heart...I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with those thoughts!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Thoughts

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." .... Jeremiah 29:11 (esv)